There is a boy at work that is becoming my shadow. It is hard for me to call him a boy because he is so tall and big, but he is only 14. An 8th grader. A 14 year old 8th grader that has seen and been part of so much violence. It is hard though to know when he is telling the truth and when he is trying to show off.  He is attending an alternative school placement because he is on parole and is on a long term suspension from his home school. He lives in an urban home in a poor area.  Lots of gangs and violence occurs around him. 

"John" began volunteering in my classroom about 2 months ago. He was interested in one little boy in particular and I saw it as a good way to get him involved in something positive. What I was surprised about were his teachers were allowing him to come to my room when work was incomplete or his behavior was poor. So I set some rules. He had to have all his work done completely and well. He had to pull up his pants (he wore them clear to his knees).  He had to come to school and no skipping.  If he skipped he could not come that week. He could not talk about violence, guns, knives or anything inappropriate around the children (he has been jumped numerous times, been in knife fights, and shot at). 

The next day, he wore a belt. He was proud to show it to me.  He said his mother took him to the dollar store right away to buy him one. He has asked me how to become a special education teacher and what I did.  And still frequently asks me.  He has so many barriers for a 14 year old that it makes my heart sink to know there are so many years for him to try to not make bad choices and I just want to scoop him up and take him home.

  He pops in to say hi. He pops in to tell me bye before the weekend and I remind him to make good choices and that I looked forward to seeing him on Monday. Then he comes to say hi on Monday and gives me a report. Either I congratulate him or give him a little lecture. He seems to expect me to lecture him and said just the other day that he decided to just walk away when he was being bugged by someone. Of course I congratulated him. We talk a lot about how to make good decisions and how to think before reaction. 

He is still making bad choices. I told him I would buy him lunch if he didn't skip school for 2 weeks and had no bad behaviors. It was a goal set by him.  He was super disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to buy lunch because he skipped. He had all kinds of excuses.  We set another goal and hopefully he realizes how serious I am.  He wants to volunteer in my room over the summer to help keep him out of trouble. I'm entering new territory. Apparently, I need to talk to his social worker and parole officer first. I already laid out rules that he agreed to. If he misses 2 days, he is done.  He needs to learn some responsibility.  I'm really being hard on him and have high expectations, but he seems to respect me for it.  I talk to him like an adult and lay it out there point blank.

Like with many of my students I have learned so much from him about lifestyles and learned some about me too. I can be a real hardass according to the other adults in my room.  But it seems to be what he is searching for. He goes back to his home district next year. I hope he can keep it together. Maybe my voice will continue to ring in his ears.